After listening to this Focus on the Family broadcast, I wanted to try it out.
Rating how you are doing in the marriage department as a couple can be so helpful in building better communication. It can be a bit scary not knowing what your spouse will say, but if you go in with the attitude of wanting to improve then you will be fine. 🙂
I first shared with Michael what I learned in the podcast episode and said I wanted him to rate me and I would rate him on a 1 – 10 scale, 10 being AMAZING – don’t change a thing. Mind you this was only two months into our marriage when I asked him. I wasn’t expecting a 10, but I also wasn’t expecting a 4. Definitely, a gut punch, he followed with some examples, one that I distinctly remember was comparing myself to others. He didn’t like that I did it and didn’t see this being healthy for our marriage growth together. I totally agreed with him on that! He was very kind when sharing with me since I am pretty sensitive. However, on this day I assessed what I was doing to my relationship. I knew I had to change how I was responding and acting towards Michael. We both needed to change in some areas to make our marriage better.
Just because I was 27 compared to maybe getting married younger did not give me any magical knowledge of how marriage life would be. I was feeling insecure and lost in the marriage department. The countless new things I was learning and trying to process living with a man for the first time and just seeing how different we really were outside of dating. Growing up in my Christian faith and not sleeping with a man before marriage and now it was okay, it was a lot to take in. I look back at that day and I know I am not a 4 anymore not quite a 10 either, but I have grown so much. I have grown with my marriage and just have enjoyed learning what works and what doesn’t.
I thought by reading marriage books it would prepare me, but personally, after doing that I don’t feel there is a book out there that can tell you how to handle your marriage since each relationship is different. I do enjoy reading and listening to books or podcasts to learn and form my own opinion on them on what would work for us. I am willing to try anything out and if doesn’t work then oh well on to the next on figuring this out. The Bible is always a good resource!
We are now in month 8 of marriage expecting our first little in Fall and I could not be happier. As it turns out our church is doing a marriage series and at the end of Sunday service, he asked spouses to ask to be rated on how they are doing in their marriage. I found this perfect with my topic!
Podcast can be found on iTunes.