I have to say the biggest hurdle being married which I didn’t see coming was this idea of comparing myself to Michael’s past. I tried not to think about it, but somehow it always came up. We all come into a relationship with baggage – I have baggage and I also had a lot of clothes lol. I didn’t just struggle with his past I also was looking at other relationships who seemed to operate at 100%. I wondered what the secret was to their newlywed bliss and how we could get that too. (This sounds like we are never happy that is far from the truth, but I wanted more than I was getting.) Perspective is key and that is something Michael does well, he shared with me that Facebook should be called Fakebook since everyone posts the best things about life.
I do feel there should be a level of privacy for certain things, but some things should be discussed to start conversations and let light in the darkness. I imagine I am not the only person who has experienced this. Perhaps this will help someone know they aren’t alone.
My biggest help in overcoming my insecurities in comparison has been seeking Godly counsel and seeking intimacy with God. We are all a work in progress and that is what I aim for each and every day. I have to love myself in order to love others well and God is teaching me this isn’t selfish. It is healthy to love oneself in order to be healthy enough to be around others and pour into them. We all need to find our identity in Christ, not our own PRIDE, EGO, CLOTHES, MAKE-UP, ETC. Not saying that make-up and clothes are bad they are fun and express your personality, but you could be wearing a mask when you don’t need too. Masks hide who you are – why would you want to hide that?!
I am consciously putting my focus on positives to what makes me unique and understanding different is lovely. God designed me to be ME not a copy of someone I see on TV or someone I know and look up too. He loves them too, but they are the only one who can be them. It is great to have role models but becoming a clone of them is just not what God intended. Comparing does nothing for me either but creates doubt in who I am. God created me to live this life fully and by not living my potential then I am not living life to the full. This newlywed season (5 months) has been a growing opportunity for both of us. I’m grateful for grace, mercy, forgiveness and hope to not waste any more time living a copy of what I was not intended for. Thank you for reading my <3!